I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
