Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
