My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
