Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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