Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
