She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
