I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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