Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
