I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
