need another drink. this is the easiest way
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
