did you get engaged???
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
