I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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