Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
