my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
