I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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