Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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