I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
