I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
