I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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