Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
