people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
