I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
