you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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