is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
