I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
