oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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