Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
