East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
