i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
