the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
