I feel great
I just peed on a car
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
