That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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