And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
