youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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