We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
