So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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