Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
