im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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