thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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