I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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