In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
