Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Randomize
