The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
