I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
