I want to stick my p in your. b.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Randomize
