I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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