so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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