i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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