return my video game
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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