I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
