I'm so fucking centered right now
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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