i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize