wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How naked do you want me to be?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
