Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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