I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
