i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
