I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
