dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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