: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
