woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
