whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
