hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
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I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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