Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize