Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
