Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
