Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
